Song: ”GOD Fight For Me” by Delana Hope

Good morning, everybody.

I want to give you something to think about as you begin your day.

There are two principles I want you to carry with you this morning: Some conversations you don’t need to be a part of.

And…

You don’t have to show up to every fight you’re invited to.

That’s important because sometimes we think that because somebody wants to talk to us, we have to engage them.

We don’t.

Sometimes we think that because somebody challenges us, criticizes us, insults us, or comes after us, we have to respond.

We don’t.

One of the signs of maturity is learning the difference between something that requires your attention and something that is merely trying to get your attention.

Those are not the same thing.

Some Conversations Are Not Worth Having

Think about Eve in the Garden of Eden.

Genesis 3 tells us that the serpent approached Eve with a question: “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’ – Genesis 3:1, ESV

Now, Eve’s ultimate sin was disobedience to God.

But there’s something worth noticing about how the temptation developed.

It developed through a conversation.

The serpent introduced a question.

Eve responded.

The serpent challenged what God had said.

And the longer that exchange continued, the more the conversation moved away from God’s command and toward the serpent’s deception.

That gives us something to think about: What if Eve had simply ended the conversation?

Not every question deserves an answer.

Not every accusation requires a defense.

Not every opinion requires your response.

And not everybody who wants to have a conversation with you is interested in truth.

Some people aren’t asking questions because they want answers.

They’re asking questions because they want an argument.

Some conversations are designed to pull you into confusion.

Some conversations are designed to make you angry.

Some conversations are designed to get you to say something that can later be used against you.

And sometimes the wisest response is: “I’m not participating in this conversation.”

Discern the Conversation

Now, I’m not suggesting that we run away from every difficult conversation.

There are conversations we need to have.

Relationships sometimes require uncomfortable conversations.

Leadership requires difficult conversations.

Marriage requires difficult conversations.

Friendship requires difficult conversations.

Sometimes reconciliation requires sitting down and talking about things we would rather avoid.

So, the lesson isn’t: Avoid difficult conversations.

The lesson is: Discern the conversation.

Ask yourself: What is the purpose of this conversation?

Is the goal understanding?

Is the goal reconciliation?

Is the goal correction?

Is the goal growth?

Or does this person simply want conflict?

Because if somebody wants resolution, that’s a conversation.

But if somebody only wants a reaction, that’s a trap.

And wisdom learns the difference.

You Don’t Have to Attend Every Fight

That brings me to the second principle: You don’t have to show up to every fight you’re invited to.

Somebody can invite you into an argument, and you can decline the invitation.

Think about that.

We understand this principle everywhere else.

If somebody invites you to dinner, you don’t have to go.

If somebody invites you to an event, you don’t have to attend.

So why do we believe that when somebody invites us to an argument, suddenly attendance becomes mandatory?

It doesn’t.

You can say: “I’m not going.”

Not physically, but emotionally.

Mentally.

Spiritually.

You can refuse to enter the fight.

Proverbs 26:4 says: “Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself.”

That’s wisdom.

Because there are some arguments that don’t elevate you.

They reduce you.

There are some fights where even if you win the argument, you’ve lost something more valuable in the process.

You’ve lost your peace.

You’ve lost your focus.

You’ve lost your time.

Maybe you’ve even compromised your character.

So, before you enter the fight, ask yourself: “What exactly am I trying to win?”

And then ask: “What might this victory cost me?”

Jesus Didn’t Respond to Everything Either

We see this principle in the life of Jesus.

Jesus did not answer every accusation.

When He stood before Pilate and the chief priests were accusing Him, Mark tells us: “But Jesus made no further answer, so that Pilate was amazed.” – Mark 15:5, ESV

Think about that.

Jesus certainly could have answered.

He wasn’t silent because He lacked an answer.

His silence was intentional.

That’s important.

Silence is not always weakness.

Sometimes silence is discipline.

Sometimes walking away isn’t cowardice.

Sometimes walking away is wisdom.

Sometimes refusing to argue doesn’t mean you lost.

It means you decided that the argument wasn’t worth the price of admission.

Stop Giving Everybody Access to Your Peace

Here’s something else I want you to consider this morning.

Every time somebody can say something and immediately change your emotional condition, you have given that person a certain amount of control over you.

They say something, you become angry.

They post something, you respond.

They criticize you, you spend the rest of the day thinking about it.

They send a message, you immediately begin typing your defense.

And sometimes you need to put the phone down.

Sometimes you need to leave the message unanswered.

Sometimes you need to walk away from the conversation.

Because protecting your peace sometimes requires controlling your participation.

You cannot control what everybody says.

But you can control what conversations you join.

You cannot control who wants to argue with you.

But you can control whether you attend the fight.

 Ask Yourself Three Questions

So today, before you enter a questionable conversation or unnecessary conflict, ask yourself three questions.

Number one: Does this conversation need me?

Just because somebody mentioned your name doesn’t mean your presence is required.

Number two: Is anything productive likely to come from this conversation?

If the answer is no, consider walking away.

And number three: What will participating cost me?

Will it cost you your peace?

Your time?

Your focus?

Your witness?

Your dignity?

Your relationship?

Because some conversations are simply too expensive.

Here’s Your Morning Thought

Here’s what I want you to remember today: You don’t have to attend every conversation you’re invited into.

And…

You don’t have to show up to every fight you’re invited to.

Somebody may criticize you today.

You don’t necessarily have to respond.

Somebody may misunderstand you.

You don’t always have to explain yourself.

Somebody may try to provoke you.

You don’t have to give them the reaction they’re looking for.

Somebody may come looking for an argument.

You can let them keep looking.

Because sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing.

And sometimes the strongest move you can make…is to walk away.

But remember this isn’t about avoiding responsibility.

It’s about exercising discernment.

Know when to speak.

Know when to listen.

Know when to answer.

Know when to remain silent.

Know when to stay.

And know when to walk away.

Because every conversation does not deserve your voice.

Every disagreement does not deserve your energy.

And every fight does not deserve your presence.

Discern the conversation.

Guard your peace.

And remember: Just because somebody invites you into conflict doesn’t mean you have to RSVP.

Have a blessed morning.